A Happy, Healthy Divorce… Is it Possible?

Here are the facts: 20% of marriages end in divorce within 5 years, and 48% of marriages end by the 20-year mark. Divorce is never a topic anyone wants to think about, but chances are, if you’re reading this blog, you’re being confronted with this topic.

First, take a deep breath. Divorce can sound like a scary word, but in this blog post (and in numerous other ones!) I will take you through some of the ways you can have a happy and healthy divorce. Although every divorce is unique, and some divorces are more contested than others, there is always something you can do to alleviate the stress and emotional toll.

One of the most important things you can remember is to be kind to yourself! No seriously, according to the APA, people who are compassionate to themselves have an easier time when going through a divorce. So whether it’s fixing that little voice in your head, getting a pedicure, or letting yourself cry it out, be kind to yourself!

If your marriage, or even divorce, has been smooth sailing, mediation may be the best option for you. Not only is mediation less expensive, it can help relieve you of some of the emotional burden that comes with divorce. However, in some cases mediation can be defeating and frustrating, especially with a partner who is unwilling to compromise. In addition, when attempting divorce negotiations with your partner, this can bring up many of the same problems that led to the divorce in the first place.

Hopefully, mediation will work for you and your divorce. If not, you may need to go forward with more formal divorce proceedings.

When children are involved…

If you have kids, the last thing you should feel is guilty about getting a divorce. According to the APA, most children are well-adjusted to a divorce after just two years, and children whose parents are in an unstable marriage actually fare worse than children whose parents got divorced.

The most important thing to remember when going through the divorce is to keep any conflict away from your children. It is often suggested that both parties tell the children of their pending divorce together, and to make sure that both parties are able to have honest conversations with their children about what upcoming changes they can expect. It can be beneficial to your children’s mental health if they can be given heads up before moving them or before a parent moves out.

If it is healthy and safe to do, it is so important to ensure the kids have a healthy, open relationship with both parents. When kids have a strained relationship with one parent, this can negatively affect their mental health. Parent education programs and family psychologists can be some options to consider when looking to mend relationships between parent and child.

If the thought of an incoming divorce hurts you to think about, please reach out to family, friends, a formal support group, and/or a psychologist. There are lots of resources available for soon-to-be-divorcées, and I’m one of them. I strive to be more than an attorney to my clients, but also a friend they can count on to help them through the worst of their divorce.

I’ve got you.

Sign up for a consultation here: https://calendly.com/event_types/user/me

Source: https://www.apa.org/topics/divorce-child-custody/healthy