Signs it Might be Time for a Divorce

So, you’ve found yourself googling if it’s time for a divorce. Whether you’ve been together for three years or thirty, there are some telltale signs that it may be time for a divorce.

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1. You never argue.

While never fighting may seem like the best case scenario, a relationship without fighting can show that your marriage no longer has passion, and you have given up on trying to fix things within your marriage. Avoiding areas of conflict and giving each other the silent treatment can be even more detrimental to your relationship than attempting to hash it out.

2. All you do is argue.

On the other hand, if lately your marriage has seemed like a long stream of arguments, and you just cannot seem to reconcile your differences, you need to take a long and hard look at your marriage. Are you deriving joy from your marriage? Are you fighting to preserve your marriage, or fighting to fight?

3. You want to provoke your spouse.

Do you secretly enjoy picking fights with your spouse? Maybe your spouse has been driving you crazy lately and it feels good to just let out all that pent-up frustration. Or you fight with your spouse because you just want to win the argument and feel some kind of satisfaction. All of these are signs that you may be heading toward divorce.

4. Fights are unproductive.

Like the above two points, if your fights are no longer out of love, where it is you and your spouse against the problem, then the marriage itself may actually be the problem. When your fights no longer become productive, and if you’ve even tried couples therapy to no avail, you may be faced with irreconcilable differences with your spouse.

5. Your body is feeling the affects.

This is where the mind-body connection comes into play. An impending divorce with a spouse can bring so many crazy, wildly different feelings, that sometimes it is less useful to listen to your mind and more helpful to listen to your body. Is your body feeling the affects of an unstable and stressful partnership? Perhaps you’ve been feeling anxiety in your stomach, your heart has been racing, or your body is having trouble getting you to sleep every night. Our body holds our stress and trauma responses, and you should listen to how your body is feeling as an indicator of your state of well-being and happiness.

6. You can’t be true to yourself.

Presumably, you married your partner because they were your best friend, someone you could really just be your full goofy, weird self around. When you start to feel as though you need to put up a barrier between you and your spouse, this is a definite red flag. Feeling like you need to put on a mask to hide your true emotions or the true way you would act when you are around your partner can show that the comfort and realness that is so vital to a marriage has dissolved from your partnership.

7. You rely on social media/friends/family for support.

You should always be relying on family and friends as part of your support network, but when you find yourself looking increasingly for outlets for comfort and support, that can be a sign that your current spouse is no longer fulfilling this role for you. In addition, it can be hard to admit to the outside world when you are having marriage struggles, so you may find yourself overcompensating on social media by excessively sharing your relationship online and masquerading how happy you are.

8. Your kids are coming before your own care.

I get it, kids are always a parents first priority. But research has shown that staying in an unhappy marriage for the sake of your child actually has a more detrimental impact on the mental health of that child especially when the conflict between the parents is evident.

9. You and them are no longer a “we.”

Married couples are supposed to be a team. When you find yourself feeling significantly separated from your partner’s wants, goals, and lifestyle, this could be a sign of a dysfunctional marriage.

10. When people tell you to stay with them, you don’t feel automatic relief.

If you find yourself asking your friends and family for an outside opinion, some people may tell you to keep trying to make the marriage work. In the event that they do advise this, how does that make you feel? Do you still find yourself asking others for a second opinion, or do you keep finding reasons to try to get them to change their mind? This is a telltale sign that you are ready for a separation.

Divorce is never easy, and it shouldn’t be the first option you jump to at the first signs of an unhappy marriage. However, if you find yourself failing time and time again to make your marriage work, it may be time to think about divorce. You deserve a life where you come home each day to a partner that loves you and fulfills your needs and desires as a partner. If you are no longer receiving this from your current partner, you owe it to yourself to find someone who will.

Source: https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/a26040141/should-i-get-a-divorce/