Navigating Thanksgiving After a Divorce
Thanksgiving is just a couple of days away! While some may rejoice at the thought of gathering with extended family and spending the day feeling grateful, social, and stuffed with food, this upcoming holiday can be very difficult for those who are recently divorced. Your first Thanksgiving without your spouse may feel extra lonely, as some traditions the two of you had together are no more. If you are sharing custody of your children, perhaps this is your first Thanksgiving you don’t get to spend fully with your child. You are not alone in your feelings as you navigate the upcoming holiday season. Here are some tips to help you navigate Thanksgiving while divorced:
Focus on doing what you love. What is your favorite part of Thanksgiving? Perhaps you love cooking or baking holiday treats, dressing up for the fall weather, or sharing some apple cider mimosas with friends. Make sure to take time for yourself to continue doing what you love.
Create new traditions. If feasible, it can help everyone feel a sense of normalcy to continue on with old traditions pre-divorce. However, if this is not possible, it can be a good idea to create some new traditions with your friends and/or children. This can be a fun and exciting activity for children, which can take their mind off of their parent’s separation.
Make your children feel comfortable during this transition. Your children may be upset and angry about the new logistics of Thanksgiving day. Validate their feelings and make sure they feel comfortable to be able to enjoy themselves at their other parents house. No matter what your relationship is with your ex-spouse, they are still your child’s mom or dad and your child will be better off if they feel they have both parents blessing to enjoy their time at the other parent’s home.
Embrace the holiday spirit. Thanksgiving is about feeling grateful. While this may be difficult after a divorce, it can be a grounding and helpful exercise to think about what you do have in your life that you are grateful for. Whether that be friends, family members, pets, or something as simple as having a roof over your head, it can be beneficial to remember all the good in your life, even as you navigate some major changes.
I hope these tips help you through a holiday time that may look very different than your Thanksgiving last year.
