Picking Your Battles When Getting a Divorce

Picking and choosing your battles isn’t about digging your heels in on the one thing you know will upset your ex the most. Picking your battles is about doing an internal run-through of the decisions you will make in your divorce and selecting the decisions that mean the absolute most to you. Of course, this selection process means that you may want to pick a handful of things that you care the least about during the divorce process.

During an especially contested divorce, it may seem in the heat of the moment that every single battle is absolutely necessary, that your soon-to-be former spouse does not deserve a single thing out of this divorce. Of course, this may be the case, but there are many reasons why it is better for you to pick and choose your battles. Divorces are expensive, and turning every little choice into a blow-out fight is a sure way to incur hefty legal expenses. Constant fighting can also bring an undue amount of stress onto you and any children you may have.

Here are some important questions to ask yourself when picking and choosing your battles: 

• Will the impact of this decision matter to me in 2 years?

• How much does this decision matter to my ex?

• Am I really passionate about this decision or just working through the emotions of my divorce?

• Will winning this fight give me what I want or just make me feel better?

• Is there a compromise I can make regarding this issue?

Divorce isn’t easy, and the process is by no means perfect. Emotions run high, and picking what issues to compromise on can be difficult. Your attorney should be there for you while you decide which issues matter the most to you, so that she can advocate for these wishes and also help you come up with a compromise for the other less important issues that are satisfactory to you.

Source: https://www.womansdivorce.com/compromising-in-divorce.html