Who Owns What Friends After a Divorce?

“Meeting the friends” is a milestone in any relationship that hopefully ends in a marriage of not just the happy couple, but their friend groups as well. Throughout your time with your spouse, you may have jointly cultivated strong friendships with the people in your life who you now consider your friends for emotional support, social activities, and the occasional double date.

While your divorce attorney will help you divide all your joint assets, time spent with children, and property, there is one thing that cannot be divided up just as neatly: your friends.

Your friends may act as if they’re walking on glass when you meet up with them after a divorce, and can seem distant or awkward when catching up with you individually. In this scenario, it will help to make it clear to your friends that you do not expect them to pick sides in your divorce, and that whatever friendship they have individually with your former spouse does not need to change because of your recent divorce.

Perhaps you’re too late, your friends have already picked sides in the divorce, and you suddenly find yourself sitting home alone every night, no longer getting invited to social gatherings or group activities. There are still ways you can salvage these friendships!

It is entirely possible your friends haven’t realized they aren’t keeping in contact with you as much, or that they think giving you some space is the best course of action. This is why it is so important to reach out to your friends during this time. Ask them to get a quick bite to eat, be honest with them, and don’t be afraid to share your thoughts and feelings with them.

With that being said, avoid gossiping with your friends, even if they seem eager or happy to talk about your former spouse with you. Keep your conversations respectful, and try to focus on your life and your future rather than your former spouse.